Dating Fail.

So yea. I'm fully single now which means I'm allowed to attempt dating. Attempt is the key word here. So far=Colossal Fail. *sigh*

I'm not expecting much... but I do request that interested parties be: A.) Somewhat local; B.) Intelligent; C.) not married, in a relationship or on the rebound; and D.) Looking for more than a warm place to put his... well, you know!

So far the score is: A.) Fail; B.) Mostly Fail (only because of C); C.) FAIL; and D.) FAIL. I didn't realize I had such high standards. Harumph.

Let's break it down by qualification. Firstly--Interested Party must be somewhat local. Really, this is just a logistics issue. I love chatting/talking to people, but if you never get to see the other party because of geography, it will fizzle and die. Regular meetings/dates/weekends away are an acceptable alternative, but that requires dedication and forward planning.

Secondly--Intelligence. I know, all women say they want this and it seems like a cop-out. But for the love of all that is holy, I REFUSE to date anyone that can't hold his own against me. I was married to that for 10 years and I'm done. I'm not a bimbo and I'm not going to play one any more. I require someone that can stimulate my brain and can keep me on my toes. I do not ever want to have to take a two-drink handicap when playing Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit or Millionaire every again. I want someone that will influence my art and my mind in a positive way. I know that if I am patient, I will find this man (or this man will find me).

Third. I am not going to be the other woman. I am also not going to be some dirty little secret. Date me publicly or don't bother asking. Ugh. Regarding the rebound issue... I just don't want to be rebound girl. This note goes to the guys that will only talk about their ex while with me. Obviously, you are not over her. Please allow yourself some time to heal, and give me a call when you are feeling better about life in general. I think you are great, and you are right-she is foolish/a whore or whatever the issue is... but I will not counsel you through that. You have to get yourself through it. You need to figure out who you are before you throw yourself into a new relationship.

Which leads us to the last point. I am not here on Earth to be someone's plaything to use and toss aside. Period. If that's what you think about me, please don't even try it. I am not a dickwarmer--use some barwhore for that, m'kay? Thx.

After stressing about it for a couple of months over the fall/winter, I just let go of it a few months ago and decided that if someone falls into my life that meets the qualifications listed above, that would be great. If not--meh, whatever. No skin off my back. I got a do-over on the rest of my life and it's going to happen on my terms.

I have some wonderful male friends that I love talking to and joking around with. That's good enough for me right now. I have bigger things to worry about than trying to actively find someone to spend my free time with.

My focus right now is on my children and pulling us through this new life. I have dedicated my life to the service of my children and their needs, not to the needs of some random man. The wrong man will distract me from them, while the right one will integrate himself into my life without much extra effort and will not ask me to sacrifice my time with them.

So I'm currently living a life of celibacy, poverty and service to my children. Oh.My.God. I'm a Nun!!! You know, without that whole messy Catholic thing. Not so bad, actually...