Holidays and the Single Parent

So this year is going to be awful for me in terms of holidays and such... I will not have any of the children on their birthdays at all this year. Nor will I have them for Easter, Memorial Day, Fourth of July or Christmas morning.

Easter... I don't get to play the Easter Bunny? This makes me sad. I love making the Easter Baskets, coloring the eggs, finding the eggs, making the Easter meal...

I don't want things to go back the way they were at all. But having to give away these special times with my children is hard. I don't even want to be in town over Easter Weekend.

I also have to give them up for four weeks this summer. I have to figure out something to do with myself during this time--something that gets me out of the house, away from their things that remind me they aren't here. I enjoy the quiet... for about 12 hours, then I want to hear what little joke Paige has spouted, or see what Lego creation Sam has made, and wonder how many rainbows/sunflowers/hats/things Kate has drawn. Maybe its time to resume my "summering" in Phoenix. I am probably the only idiot that "summers" in Phoenix, but that heat wraps around me in a wonderful memory.

I know I will be spending a couple of weekends in Georgia for my Sis's big events this summer. I still have that trip to DC to cash in--and I want to go in the worst way! I need to see the history and the art held in that city. Alternately, I want to jump in my car and drive away from civilization with my camera... I have the overwhelming need to conquer some mountain again--its been too damn long (and I've been training on the treadmill inclines).

I must walk this path--I chose it knowing it was rocky and unmapped. I'm tough, I'll make it... but hopefully with a little help from my friends.