I love Alice in Wonderland. At points, it really was as if I had fallen down the rabbit hole into some bizarro-world. Alice is so wide-eyed and in awe of everything she's seeing becoming more accepting of all of it; then realizes its all just a horrible nightmare and begs herself to wake up!
My birth name was legally restored today and it feels wonderful to be fully me again. Even my children were excited for me! I was so happy that the baking bug bit me so I made cake, although I blamed that on Dr. Suess' birthday.
I felt wonderful when the judge declared us done Nov 3rd... but then grew quickly frustrated when ex felt the need to hold up the rest of the paperwork. I was again, incredibly relieved and happy once I signed the papers right next to his signature a month ago... but cried in public when I found out that I was still stuck with his name! Ugh, low again... but I was determined to get rid of the last bit of this marriage. Finally, the law office called this morning saying the needed piece of paper was stamped and back from the judge. Would I like them to mail it or would I be picking it up? Oh lordy, I will be there ASAP, do not delay another day! It has been four full months since I stood before the judge that granted me freedom. A very, very long four months.
I woke up from my 10 year long nightmare today, shook off the last of the sleep, stretched and became Amanda again. There were only a few happy tears shed tonight. The life of a single mother is not easy, but this life is so much better than the other one I was living. Really, it is.
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