I hate politics...

...because it breeds hate and intolerance--kind of like the varying religions warring against one another. But sometimes some things need to be pointed out in real world situations, so that people understand that these issues hit really close to home.

I don't have health insurance. I don't qualify for health insurance for a variety of reasons--the top two reasons being the celiac issues, and the fact that I have had three (thankfully) non-cancerous tumors/cysts removed in the last ten years.

I could still have health insurance if I had remained married--and that was the only way I could have it right now. But to remain married to a man that was super abusive and controlling, that grew drugs and that had a federal gun license would have destroyed me completely. My children shouldn't have been raised in that environment. You do not understand the fear I lived with on a daily basis. Fear that I would do something wrong to rock the boat and find his temper. Fear that he did something idiotic while out on a "run" that would get him caught. Fear that my children would be taken from me because of his idiocy. Fear that we were going to lose our house to the bank because buying the drugs/guns/ammo was much more important than paying the mortgage.

I did a budget sheet for how we spent our money in 2008 to show him why we were failing to pay our mortgage. 7% of our income went toward drugs. Another 4% went towards guns/ammo and reloading equipment. That was more than we spent on groceries. Can you imagine raising children--children with major health issues--in an environment like that?

Since Saturday, I have seen the anti-healthcare crowd label people needing healthcare as "leaches", "freeloaders", and on and on.... One person commented that "these freeloaders would be better off dead than to be a drain on society. Fuck em I say!" I'm trying really hard not to take these comments to heart, but I AM ONE OF THESE PEOPLE that need the government (or someone) to step in and say "You can't deny her insurance"

I shouldn't have to decide between bankruptcy or being sick. A week before my divorce was granted, I found a lump in my right armpit/breast. Number 4. I asked my Magic 8 Ball if this one was also benign like the others, and it says "Ask Again Later". I have been reduced to Magic 8 Ball health care, and even it has failed to provide me with an answer... (Yes people--this is my form of a joke. Comic relief--we all need it, I supply it. It's super-dry humor and I am always the butt of the joke. Fun for all).

Back to serious... The lump has grown, and now presses on a nerve that runs down to my hand. My arm goes numb quite frequently now. I am bruising like a ripe peach in August. I need to go to the doctor in a bad way. I need this damn thing removed and tested. I'm not freaked about it--I'm annoyed by it. I had some blood tests done at Christmas time before I lost my insurance to check my counts, etc. They were ok enough to put my mind somewhat at ease about it. I will still have to pay for all of this out of pocket, I'm sure. I have to wait until the house sells before I can do anything though, unless I pull a MacGyver field removal. That would be hard to do with my left hand though. (more jokes. it's how I deal with a shitty reality)

I am overjoyed that SOMETHING was passed to guarantee that these jackasses have to stop telling me I can't have coverage. Do I think this bill is *the perfect* solution? Hell no. But it is a start. A good start to make sure children have healthy mothers taking care of them.

So I thank the US government for making something happen on this front. This law will continue to be edited and revised hopefully into a good working system. That might just be wishful thinking on my part, but you have to dream big to get results, right? Go Big or Go Home.

I'll leave you with one more thought. Most of the strongest opposition seems to be from the Religious Right. However, it is written: "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" Philippians 2:4 This chapter talks of service, charity and humility toward others. You should help out those that are less fortunate than you. Jesus spoke of helping out the less fortunate many many times, and spent a good deal of time helping out the poor and sick--people that no one else would touch or look upon. This is a way to do His work. I'm just sayin'... You can't preach a message of love and acceptance, charity and service, and yet continue to deny basic health care to people that need it.

Sometimes the one that the government is trying to help might be your daughter and her children. It might be your best friend from school. It might be that girl that you admire because she has beat all odds to get out of a really horrifying situation, just to find a new horrible situation waiting for her on the other side.

It might be me.